My Own Coming of Age Experience

The picture is of me and my grandmother at her surprise 70^th birthday party. This picture was taken in November of my freshman year.  At this point in her life, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and already had a surgery to remove one lung.  The doctors told her she only had a couple months to live.  She was truly an inspiration to not only me, but also my whole family.  I couldn’t have asked for a better grandmother.  She would do everything and anything for her children and grandchildren.  On my weakest days, she always found a way to make me smile.  I admire the strength she showed throughout all the tough times dealing with her cancer.  I can only wish I had half the strength she had.  Even when she struggled with her health, she still put the family first.  When she passed away in July, the summer before my sophomore year, I was an emotional wreck for some time.  I did not understand why such a great lady had to go.  After her death, this picture was hung in my room.  I would look at it everyday to remind myself she was always with me.  This picture would help me be strong on my weakest days.  It reminded me of that great attributes my Grandma had, and helped me become a better person.  Looking back, this picture help me deal with one of the hardest things in my life, the death of my Grandmother.  This was an emotionally important event in my life that has only made me a stronger person.  To relate this to the articles we read in class, it helped me understand the Pascoe reading a little more.  I could actually relate it to real life.  When my Grandmother passed away, the girls of the family showed their emotion much more then the males.  Although, both genders were equally sad about the death.  Unfortunately, it is more exceptive when girls show their emotion more than males.  If the males showed emotion at the funeral or any other time, my family definitely would not call them gay or a “fag”.  I think they were just so used to trying to hide their emotions since its more socially acceptable for girls to show emotions compared to males.  This is just a real life example about how males in our society are taught to hide their emotions so they do not appear “weak”.  Another example is when men did show their emotions through this hard time, you did not see males comforting males.  On the other hand, females were always giving each other hugs and comforting one another.  I just think that males are so used to trying to hide their emotions so they feel “masculine” that they do not really want to associate themselves with males who are showing “fag” like characteristics.  Just like in the reading, at the River Hill High School, the term “fag” was something you did not want to be called or associated with.  It was a term that people called each other for showing a lack of masculinity and being weak.  So just like the males in my family, they did not want to be portrayed as weak so they tried to hide their emotions.  They are just accustom to the society’s social norms. 

For the next part of my own coming of age experience I choose to write about my senior class’s song, My Wish by Rascal Flats.  The song is about someone’s future, and I was about to enter the next chapter of my life.  Going off to college was going to be a new experience for me.  I had so many mixed emotions.  I was going to be living three hours away from home, leaving all my high school friends, and going to a new place and start up another life.  This song talks about all the good things that can happen in the future.  So when I listened to it a couple of years ago before I went off on my own, it helped and comforted me with my mixed feelings.  It focuses on all the good things that are about to come.  I still listen to this song every once in awhile, and it motivates me to do well and reminds me that there is still a great future ahead of me.  To relate this to class, I’m going to compare this with the two readings of Kearney.  I believe that the girlhood has not changed too much over the years.  Kearney discusses the “culture of the bedroom” which is where girls read magazines, practice doing makeup and talk about boys.  I still believe that the girlhood involves the “culture of the bedroom” today.  But now days, I feel as if girls turn to media more than anything.  Yeah they are still doing all those same activities I mentioned, but now they are doing those while listening to music or watching TV/movies.  So to relate this project, I believe that girls turn to media just like I listened to this song to help with my mixed emotions about going off to college.  My friends and I still listen to My Wish when we get together, which brings back old memories of senior year and lets us know there is still a great future ahead of us.  Another example of how girls turn to media now days, girls listen to Taylor Swift songs to help them through breakups.  Kearney argued that American girls are more involved with media now days.  I do agree with him, but they media today is a lot easier to get access to. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU

Gretchen Otto

Blog #2

“Coming of Age”

            For this blog entry I chose to read the article about teenage pregnancy in South Africa.  I thought it would be significant since for my first blog entry I wrote about 16 and Pregnant, which took place in America, that way I could compare and contrast the two.  In the article I chose to read, it was a study being done to try and see why there were so many school dropouts after a girl was pregnant.  They took qualitative research and analyzed what they found.  They interviewed teenage girls that were pregnant or already have a child and head people of the school.  The study consisted of girls between the ages of 14 and 18, which is grades 8^th through 12^th.

            For this article was mostly concentrated on the female gender, hence female pregnancy.  The gender in South Africa has some comparisons and also some differences in the female gender compared to the United States.  Women in South Africa are looked to at as the primary caretaker.  The role definitely has changed in America over the past couple decades, but women are still looked at as the homemaker and primary care taker for the kids.  One difference of growing up in South Africa for females compared to America is, the females do not usually have a job.  They are at home cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the children.  In America, most families are dual income families, which means both parents are working.  Not having dual income families in South Africa leads them into poverty, which affects other aspects of their life.  Children in South Africa do not have the opportunities like American children have.  For an example, since poverty is so high in South Africa, you do not see children their going to the mall or movies on their free time.  They are at home helping around the house.

            I believe that sexuality in South Africa is quite different than sexuality in America.  In the article did not really mention much about sexuality.  Although, in South Africa, adolescents are not taught about safe sex.  I believe that this could be the cause of why their teenage pregnancy rate is so high over there.  Also, I believe that girls are getting pregnant much earlier in South Africa compared to girls in America.  For the study in the article, they were starting their research with girls at the age of 14.  You do not hear of many 14 year olds in America getting pregnant at that age.  Also, gay and lesbian is looked down upon. They follow their religion in South Africa very strictly and gay and lesbian is not allowed in their religion.  So growing up as a gay or lesbian in South Africa you would definitely not be able to express yourself.  

            After reading this article and the pieces for class made me realize how fortunate I am living in the United States.  For an example, after reading Persepolis and understanding how coming of age is so different in different countries.  For Marji, her coming of age experience as being a female was especially hard.  Women were treated so poorly in Iran and had hardly any privledges.  So growing up there would make everything so much harder for adolescents.  Luckily in America, men and women have equal rights. 

            Like I stated earlier, there really is no “coming out” process in South Africa.  Gay and lesbians are frowned upon in that country.  You would definitely not see an organization like It Gets Better Project.  People in America are fighting for equal rights for everyone.  In South Africa, you would never see people trying to stick up for people who are trying to come out or sharing their stories to help their coming out process.  We are fortunate in the United States to have all these rights to make our coming of age experience more enjoyable.  

Blog #1.

Gretchen Otto

Blog #1

            For my first blog entry I decided to analyze a Teen Mom episode.  I chose an episode from season two.  I thought this was a great piece of media that reflects not only on adolescent girls, but boys as well.  This show consists of four mothers raising their child/children.  Chelsea, Jenelle, Kailyn, and Leah are the four mothers that I will be referencing in my blog.  The episode I watched was focused on the mothers in college or trying to start college. 

            Chelsea is a single mother but is still dating the baby daddy, Adam.  Although, Adam does not contribute to the baby financially one bit.  Chelsea’s father is very wealthy and has provided opportunities for Chelsea that the others girls are not fortunate to have.  Her father purchased a house for Chelsea, her baby, and her best friend to live in.  This shows that Chelsea does not have the challenge of finding a place to live like the other girls.  Chelsea’s father is also paying for her college tuition.  Her father is constantly on her case asking her how school is going.  Did you finish your homework?  Have you started studying for your test yet? Those are the type of questions Chelsea is often asked by her father.  Just because she is an adolescent, he does not thinks he is capable of taking care of her baby and doing well in school.  He thinks he still needs to “father” her even though she is moved out and on her own. 

            Jenelle is a single mother living with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend.  Jenelle and her mother do not get along one bit.  Her mother believes that Jenelle is a terrible mother and can’t handle anything.  This is a perfect example of how adolescent’s feelings are not taking seriously.  Jenelle’s mother does not care about Jenelle’s feelings and thinks she has a lot of growing up to do.  Jenelle is constantly being told she has no idea what she is doing and is ruining her baby’s life.  Jenelle’s mother currently has temporary custody of Jace, Jenelle’s baby, until Jenelle is capable of taking care of him.  This family is more in the lower class.  Jenelle really wants to go to college so she can provide a better life for Jace, but she cannot afford to do so.  Unlike Chelsea, Jenelle has a lot for challenges to deal with as an adolescent.  She has to deal with the relationship with her mother, trying to find a new place to live (and pay for it on her own), and try and fund herself so she can get a college degree. 

            Kailyn lives with her boyfriend (the baby daddy) and his parents.  She was kicked out of her own house when her mom found she was pregnant.  She then had to find a place to live for her and her baby, Iaasac.  Kailyn has two part-time jobs, a full load of credits at the local community college and is a full time mother.  This goes to show that most adolescents know what they want and know what they need to do to be successful.  Yeah Kailyn definitely has a challenging life to say the least, but she is committed to everything she is apart of.  In the Raby article we read for class, they mentioned how adolescents are “incomplete subjects”.  Well Kailyn proves them wrong.  She knows exactly what she wants in life and is a motivated young lady.  She just had a bump in the road that she is over coming. 

            Leah is a mother of two twin girls living with her boyfriend, the father of the girls.  They live in a trailer an hour away from Leah’s family.  Leah’s boyfriend has a full time job.  Leah is a stay at home mother taking care of the twins.  They have financial instability.  Especially since Leah does not have a job.  They would not be able to afford childcare, and neither of their families lives close enough to take care of the girls. 

            After watching this episode it really hit me that the role of women has not changed all that much over the years, especially in Chelsea and Leah’s life where their boyfriends do not help out with caring for the children.  When I read the Kearney article I stated in my discussion that I do believe the role for women as changed.  I still believe that to a certain point, but watching this episode made me think more about it.  In Chelsea’s case, her boyfriend lives with her and does not help with financial support or taking care of the baby.  Also, in Leah’s case her boyfriend works a full time job and is off on the weekends.  During the weekends he is off you would think that he would give Leah a break and help out with the twin, but no.  She is the main role for caring for the children. 

            Years ago it was like that too.  The women were the only source for caring of the children.  Yeah it has changed for an extent, but not totally.  The perception of women is still the main role of taking care of the kids. 

            Social class is definitely a significant role in how adolescents act.  In Chelsea’s case where she is upper class, she has everything handed to her and it is easier to succeed.  Whereas, Jenelle is lower class and does not have any financial stability what so ever. 

Citations

Kearney, Mary Celeste. Producing Girls. New York: Routledge, 2006. Print.

Raby, Rebecca. "Chapter One: Conducting Research With Adolescents." Across a Great Gulf? 39-54. Print.

"Teen Mom 2 | Ep. 5 | 'Too Much, Too Fast' | MTV." New Music Videos, Reality TV Shows, Celebrity News, Top Stories | MTV. 9 Feb. 2011. Web. 12 Feb. 2011. <http://www.mtv.com/videos/teen-mom-2-ep-5-too-much-too-fast/1657487/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=34714&channelId=1>.